I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
