He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
