he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
