btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
