Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
