i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
