how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
