The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
