pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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