Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i barfeds in our rink
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So squirting runs in the family.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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