I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
