Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
