69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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