My room smells like vodka and shame
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
