Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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