She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize