Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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