Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
