Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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