The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
