he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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