Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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