Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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