JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
