if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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