I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
