At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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