Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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