considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
