So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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