absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
