that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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