Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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