we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
