Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Less talking, more tequila
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
