sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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