Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
