sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
