i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
