That's intense
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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