the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
