Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
