I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
