Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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