I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
