when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
