You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
