she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
