pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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