separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
