The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
