He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
