you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
